NFL considering revocation of Ronnie Lott's Hall of Fame induction

AP New York-  In his latest act to raise awareness of concussions in professional football, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is reportedly considering revoking Ronnie Lott's induction into the NFL Hall of Fame. Ronnie Lott who starred as a hard-hitting corner back and safety on the Super Bowl Championship San Francisco 49ers teams of the 1980s was inducted in 2000.
          "Concussions and their long-term effects are an epidemic in today's NFL" said Goodell.  "We are taking aggressive steps to limit the number of events, increase diagnosis, and minimize recurrences.  But there is only so much that we can do in the present.  To increase the public's awareness, we feel that it is necessary to revisit the past."
         A task force created by Goodell was assigned with the responsibility to review NFL films dating back to the 1970s to identify hits that would now be considered illegal.  Sources close to the commissioner report that he is considering levying fines against former players for questionable hits.
        When the task force reviewed 49ers game tape, they discovered that over 37% of Ronnie Lott's tackles which were celebrated for their violent nature at the time would now be considered a personal foul and subjected to a fine.  When Goodell had these tackles removed from the record books, Lott's career statistics no longer met the strict standard of the Hall of Fame.
         Multiple sources in the Commissioners office that spoke on condition of anonymity report that this is part of a 12 step process to convert the NFL to a two hand touch league by 2018.  Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell was quoted as saying "This is the second time this week that I've had to talk about the wussification of the NFL."  Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison, who was reached at the BP gas station that he works nights to supplement his income lost to NFL levied fines, could only say "I'm not surprised."
         In a related story, the Big 12 and SEC announced today that all nonconference games for the 2011 season will utilize flags instead of actual tackling.

MTK

Husker Holiday Bowl Breakdown/Meltdown

When approached about the outcome of the Nebraska-Washington matchup on the eve of the Holiday Bowl, my response was that Nebraska would win by 25 or lose.  The latter proved to be true.  Some random thoughts on tonights matchup:

-Was this a replay of the Texas game or was I hallucinating?  Both teams proved that you don't need to complete passes to beat Nebraska.  Jake Locker's offensive stats aren't going to blow anyones ears back, but like Texas QB Garrett Gilbert he made big runs to keep drives alive.
-The Nebraska offense has managed to make 4 of the last 5 defenses that they have played look like the Baltimore Ravens.  Over the last two games, third down passing situations have resulted in a sack approximately 50% of the time.
           -Wouldn't the occasional screen play or draw in these situations be more effective than running play action passes that a junior high defense wouldn't bite on.
-The Huskers are unable to score if they can't hit on a homerun play.  Today's touchdown (yes there was only one) occurred on a 10 play drive- only the 4th 10+ play drive to result in a touchdown this year.
-Offensively, the Huskers are back where they ended the 2009 regular season.  However, the party line at that time was that a depleted offensive line and QB with a busted up elbow led to concious limitation of the offense.  The issues now seem to be more systemic.
-The offensive line play has become unacceptable.  Whether it is drawing 2-3 false start penalties per game or failing to pass protect, change is needed.
           -A subquestion is whether this group will be able to dictate the line of scrimmage against larger Big 10 defenses.  Big 12 defenses tend to skew a bit lighter at the linebacker position due to the number of spread offenses in the conference.
-What is the psychological effect on the defense when it is clear that the offense is not there?  I don't know that I could fully understand what it feels like to make a defensive stand only to watch your offense routinely go out and waste your efforts.  With the intensity of the tackling or lack thereof by the Husker defense, it looked like they had reached their breaking point today.
-Most problematic, this is a team that failed to improve and actually worsened from the 2nd half of the Missouri game on October 30th through the end of the season.  
-A goal for next year needs to be to develop leadership on the field.  When the chips are down, I have failed to figure out who Nebraska's rock was this season.  On the offensive side, Rex Burkhead would be the most likely candidate although he is only a sophomore.  The defensive side is more complicated.  The stars of the defense are the secondary.  But as Broncos fans will attest to, when the best player on your defense is a shutdown corner, they rarely get an opportunity to make a big play to generate momentum swings.  Corners like Prince Amukamura (NU) and Champ Bailey (Broncos) just don't get thrown at.
-I would pay a substantial amount of money to hear what Taylor Martinez is thinking for an entire game.  His perpetual blank stare on the sidelines makes slack-jawed Jay Cutler look like Aristotle.  I can understand why people respond to to Tim Tebow.  Like a puppy, his blatant demonstrations of emotion make it easy to understand where his head is at.  Taylor Martinez reminds me more of a house cat where you can't tell if he is feeling disinterest, disdain, etc.
-Too many competitors in this competitor but biggest difference between this game and the game in September- Inability to generate turnovers.  Unlike Pelini's previous Husker teams, this defense generated stops but failed to get the big turnovers that are essential for a questionable offense.
-Ultimately, the blessing is that there is significant disappointment after a 9-4 season.  There will be a large degree of Chicken Little-esque stories eminating from the Cornhusker state.  How far things have come that this year will be viewed as abject failure by a significant percentage of Husker fans.  Just to note this record matches Bill Callahan's best in 2006.
 
Most importantly, hope springs eternal.  Even Cub fans think that next year will be better (recently recognized as a pathological diagnosis in the as yet unpublished DSM-V).  The outcome of next season might be the hardest to handicap of any in Pelini's brief Nebraska career but I won't be booking a flight to Indianapolis for the Big 10 championship just yet.

What are your thoughts?

MTK

Thoughts from the Weekend: December 18-19- Part One

Managing expectations: Mark today as the day that the world’s opinion of Tim Tebow changes (in fact CBS is still trying to pry announcer Gus Johnson off of Tebow’s leg).  I won't be joining the bandwagon quite yet.

            Josh McDaniel’s golden child played hard and didn’t make big mistakes.  He had one rushing and one passing touchdown.   He looked far better throwing the ball than expected and did his best to keep the Broncos in the game despite the Broncos having one of the worst defenses ever assembled. 

But before the Denver writers proclaim him the next John Elway lets get to the reality of the situation:  His one touchdown pass was a short version of Doug Flutie’s hail mary to Gerard Phelan that bounced off of two defenders before magically falling into Brandon Lloyds hands 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmauv8ps_Zs

(that being said Lance Ball dropped another nicely thrown ball that should have been a touchdown).  He wasn’t trusted to make plays late in the game.  This could mean a lot of things but most likely either A)the coordinators were trying to keep it simple for him in his first start or B) he hasn’t been able to execute an expanded playbook in practice.  Hard to say.  But late in the game when time was waning, the plays were still predominantly run oriented.    

Final thoughts:  Nice job, Tim.  No Denver QB will look good when Zane Beadles is on the offensive line.  The Broncos probably need a second play besides the quarterback draw on 3^rd down and long.  The Lions, Bengals, and Panthers lost moving Denver closer to the number 1 or 2 draft pick.     

Containing Cam:  Mitch Sherman from the Omaha World Herald reported this weekend that Nebraska Cornhusker linebacker Lavonte David had 18 tackles on Heisman Trophy winner Cam Newton in last years JuCo National Title Game.  I believe that means that David tackled Newton more times in one game than the entire SEC has this season.

The Rookie/Miracle/Invincible:  This is my formal announcement that I will be taking a sabbatical from medicine to write a screenplay for the next Disney sports too-good- to-be-true-but-it-is movie- Woody: the Danny Woodhead story.  Here is a brief synopsis

-too small: not recruited by big school in his home state: University of Nebraska and coach Bill Callahan

-sets NCAA career rushing record at Chadron State in 2007

- too small: not invited to NFL combine, goes undrafted

-2008 invited to New York Jets camp but gets injured and misses season

-2009, reinvited to NY Jets camp and runs for 158 yards and 2 TDs in a preseason game and becomes the 53^rd and last player to make the teams roster

-Too small: gets cut the next day

-2010: Gets cut again by the Jets only to be signed by the New England Patriots.  This was widely felt to be a spygate-esque move, as the Pats were playing the Jets that week and wanted information on game planning.    Ultimately goes on to become an important part of Patriots successful season.

-2011: Scores winning touchdown in the Super Bowl; Disney is in negotiations with the NFL to arrange this.

Beau Bridges is currently attached to the project as evil former University of Nebraska head coach and current New York Jets offensive line coach Bill Callahan.

The Frozen Tundra:  The Minnesota Vikings and Chicago Bears are set to play their game tonight outdoors at TCF Bank Stadium in frigid Minneapolis.  The field conditions have been the topic of much conversation even sending the Minnesota Vikings punter, Chris Kluwe, onto Twitter to voice his concerns about the safety of the field. 

This raises two questions:  Who cares enough about what a punter says to follow them on Twitter?  But also-what has happened to the excitement derived from playing a game on the “Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field” (cue the voice of the late Harry Kalas-NFL films announcer).  This is what the NFL used to be all about.

Frankly, the conditions will probably be better at TCF than they are at the stadiums that are insistent on maintaining a natural grass field (translation: painted green dirt patch).  Heinz Field, Oakland Coliseum, and Arrowhead stadium pose a greater threat to players every single week. 

Both the Broncos and Raiders kickers slipped and fell on kickoff attempts due to the absence of any appreciable grass to plant their foot and kick off of on sunday.  The NFL needs to seriously consider a more to Fieldturf in all stadiums if they are serious about moving to an 18 game schedule and actually having healthy players when they reach the Super Bowl.

Lincoln drives you to drink or vice versa:  The Huskers unfortunately had their second DUI arrest this month.  Senior Rickey Thenarse who had graduated earlier in the day was busted Sunday morning.  Apparently, Thenarse, who lost his starting job after multiple missed tackles in the Texas game, clearly finds it easier to wrap his hands around a drink and a steering wheel than a Longhorn.

Baseball Winter Meetings Update: Manny Ramirez insists on "must-trade" clause

AP -Orlando - After stints in Boston, Los Angeles and Chicago in the last three seasons, Manny Ramirez has found himself a largely unwanted commodity on this year's free agent market.  In an attempt to patch up the reputation that has made "Manny Being Manny" a baseball cliche, Ramirez and his agent Scott Boras have sought a contractual provision that will make his flaky behavior a non-issue -- the first-ever must-trade clause.

"I took a lot of criticism in Boston, because I had to feign injuries or constantly show up late to practice, if I showed up at all. It took a lot of work to convince them that even though I was one of the best hitters in baseball, having me on the roster wasn't worth it. I don't want to have to go through that again with this contract," Ramirez said.

The must-trade clause provides that the team signing Manny to a one-year, incentive-laden contract is required to trade him to a contender by no later than July 31 of the 2011 season.

Agent Scott Boras said in addition to avoiding the trouble of forcing a trade through misdeeds, the must-trade clause offers another benefit.

"Let's be honest, the offers we're getting aren't exactly glamorous. Sure, maybe Manny could go play in Toronto, Tampa Bay, or Pittsburgh, but those aren't Manny Ramirez locations. Do you realize how hard it is to get Baseball Tonight to cover a Pirates game?" Boras said.

Although the must-trade clause is unique, Boras insisted that it was merely a practicality.

"I think there are contractual clauses that fit 99.9% of players and there are contractual clauses for players with a history like Manny Ramirez," Boras said.

Guest author: TSK

Cashman's spare change turned down by homeless man

AP - NEW YORK - It's been a tough offseason for Brian Cashman. There was little doubt the Yankees GM was reeling after losing out on Cliff Lee to the Philadelphia Phillies and being outnegotiated by an aging shortstop with no viable alternatives. Nonetheless, Cashman suffered another blow Friday to his reputation as one of baseball's preeminent sources of easy money when homeless man Carl Jenkins, 57, rejected Cashman's offer of $1 and approximately 94 cents in change.

Jenkins, a Vietnam veteran and former warehouse worker who was laid off in 2009, rejected the offer as Cashman walked by the 161st Street subway station at about 9 a.m. Cashman, one of baseball's pre-eminent philanthropists, was stunned. "I went to put the money in the cardboard cup he had in front of him, and [Jenkins] said 'don't want it. Keep walking,'" Cashman said.  "I just thought he could use a cup of coffee or something."

Despite offering Jenkins nearly $1 more than any of his other contributors, Cashman once again came away devoid of the feeling of charity that has fueled a spate of crazy contracts with the Yankees.

Cashman assured reporters he would rebound from the rejection and find ways to use the funds to better the Yankees. "The way I see it, there's always room for another 2 years of AJ Burnett," Cashman said. "Or hey, get Casey Close on the phone!"

Jenkins declined to comment on rival offers, but shortly before press time, he was seen masturbating on the 7 train, having apparently accepted the suggestion offered by another passerby

Guest author: TSK

Vick's Request for Dog Ownership Leads to Unexpected Legal Action

AP Philadelphia- Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick who spent over two years in federal prison on dog fighting charges expressed his wish to own a dog again in an interview wednesday.  In the interview with NBC News, Vick stated that "I would love to get another dog in the future. I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process."

           As a condition of Vick's supervised release he is not to engage in the purchase, possession, or sale of dogs.  Vick's statements today drew further attention to the court documents associated with his release and brought to light many details not previously released to the public.

 
Other conditions included in his supervised release
-prohibition from owning any pets both living or robotic up to and including Sea Monkeys, Teddy Ruxpins, and Hex Bugs

-acknowledgement of the sovereignty of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell over all American citizens living in cities with an NFL franchise under an extension of the NFL's personal conduct policy

-requirement that all subsequent dual threat quarterbacks complete a minimum of 18 months in a federal prison prior to becoming eligible for the NFL draft

-a clause that requires all TV announcers who use the phrase "Beamer Ball" when broadcasting games by Vick's alma mater, Virgina Tech, to donate $1000 dollars per utterance to the Humane Society Dogfighting Diversionary Initiative.  $10,000 if Virginia Tech allows a blocked punt, blocked field goal, or kickoff return for a touchdown in said game (this has raised $153,000 already this year)

     

Federal authorities who became aware of this information today informed Vick that he has 48 hours to surrender his daughter's zhu zhu pets to the proper authorities to avert reincarceration for violation of parole.

At press time, Mr. Squiggles and Num Nums could not be reached for comment.

Fixing the Big 10

The rebuilding process needs to begin with Ohio State actually beating an SEC team, but until then:

The Logo:  The conference swung and missed harder than Adam Dunn does approximately two hundred and thirty times a year with their new logo choice.  So I submit to you a viable alternative that manages to include both a 1 and a 2. 

                                                            courtesy of Eric Palmer

The Divisions: This was destined for failure when league presidents shot down E. Gordon Gee's initial recommendation for a 3rd division consisting of Purdue, Minnesota, Indiana, and Northwestern named the "Little Sisters of the Poor."
The Awards:  The conference created 18 post-season awards named after former Big 10 greats.  Only 18!  That couldn't begin to capture not just the history but the great stories that make our conference the second greatest conference in the eastern time zone.  Who can forget Joe Paterno running through end zone of Ohio Stadium trying not to crap in his Depends, Woody Hayes punching an opposing player, or Lawrence Phillips trying to run his car over some teenage kids after a pick-up football game?  So I submit to you another 17 awards that will teach the uninitiated what the Big 10 is all about:

 

The Biakabutuka Award “the Timmy” - greatest single game performance by an otherwise average player

The Clarrett Award “the Mo”- Worst criminal performance by a former Big 10 athlete

The  Phillips Award “the LP”-named for Lawrence Phillips- Most outstanding display of athletic ability while committing a felonious crime (thanks to Jarrod Bruce)

The Katzenmoyer Award “The Big Kat”- Awarded for the lowest IQ to tackle ratio by a defensive player

The  Fry- named for Hayden Fry- All-decade award given to the most overrated coach

The Stewart-Westbrook Award- named for Kordell Stewart and Michael Westbrook - awarded for worst last second performance by a Big 10 team (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQJWtgF60A4)

Zook-Mendenhall Award- named for Ron Zook and Rashard Mendenhall- awarded for most surprising upset on the road against a #1 ranked team

Hayes-Bauman Award-Best hit on a player by a coach (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEVJyf0ft3I)

Paterno-Levy Award- Best hit on a coach by a player  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qA-WjRPUvY)  

Randle-El Award- MVP of the conference from an otherwise horrible team

Cooper Award-named for John Cooper- awarded to the 2^nd best team in the conference

The Boeckman Award “The Tommy Boy”-named after Todd Boeckman six year Ohio State QB-Awarded to the player who has successfully received the most years of collegiate sports eligibility

The Dayne Award- most rushing yards by a player with a BMI over 35

The Green-Tepper award- named for former Northwestern coach Dennis Green and Illinois Coach Lou Tepper- honors the coach with highest graduation rate to win ratio (Courtesy of Illini grad Brendan Clark)

The Johnson-Koulianos Award-named for Derrell Johnson-Koulianos from University of Iowa- given for outstanding entrepeneurial performance in the field of pharmaceutical sciences  (thanks Nate Brummell and Jarrod Bruce)

The Allstate-Crouch Award- named for Eric Crouch- most sales of insurance policies by a former All-American (thanks to Ian Myles)

Suh-Hawkins Award- named for Ndamakung Suh and Cody Hawkins- Awarded for the beatdown by a defensive player on a helpless quarterback on a fumble or interception return (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV8QSUnmLUg)

Breaking News: God Frustrated by Inability to Destroy Brett Favre

AP-Detroit   Brett Favre's consecutive start streak is over, but his life continues much to the chagrin of the founder of the universe.  In an interview with ESPN's Shelley Smith, God expressed his frustration regarding his inability to destroy the professional football career of Minnesota Vikings QB Brett Favre.  "It all started with that interception at the end of last year's NFC Championship game" he said.  "I mean who would throw that pass, I thought I would be overwhelmed with prayers for the return of Tavaris Jackson by Vikings fans."

Little did God know that his first intervention in a football game since the inexplicable pass interference call at the end of the Ohio State-Miami Fiesta Bowl in 2002 would lead him on such a slippery slope.

God went on document his series of failures to end Brett Favre's reign as the most beloved player of white middle aged sports reporters.  "I thought it was over and then the Devil and his agents Jared Allen, Steve Hutchinson, and Ryan Longwell fly down to Mississippi and convince him to return."  It got personal at that point.  Every plan that was put into place from the Jenn Sterger sexting scandal and his mysterious ankle fracture could not derail Brett which led to God's most desperate action to date.  "I mean poor Ben Rothlisberger gets 4 games for having sex in a bathroom and getting accused in a civil suit of sexual assault, a civil suit!"  "But teflon Brett isn't even suspended a quarter for sending pictures of his junk, come on." 

He then went on to discuss his plan to collapse the Metrodome roof on Brett Favre during sunday's game against the Giants.  "The force in him is too strong.  I had to go Ten Commandments on him."  "How was I to know that the engineering of the Metrodome was so poor that it would collapse 18 hours before Brett even shows."  "Red Combs was right all those years the Vikings did need a new stadium.  The Metrodome was a structurally unsafe piece of ****."  "The Roman Coliseum would have held up to more snow than that oversized inflated garbage bag."  He ended the interview by lamenting that he will just have to wait for the end of the season with everyone else for Brett Favre to ride off into the sunset as the most overrated gunslinger since Billy the Kid.

God's comments finished with this thought: "I don't have time for this anymore, my kid's two thousand and tenth birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and I have a lot of preparing to do."

An Open Apology to the Big 10

Dear Big 10 schools and fans,

We are sincerely sorry that we have joined your conference.  Things were going so well.  It seemed to work out fine when you welcomed Penn State into your proud conference.  Back then it was cute that you were called the Big 10 even though there were really 11.  It was like a fun little inside joke for all of football.  It even resulted in a clever little symbol with a DaVinci Code-esque clue.  But then we arrive and make the name of the conference 16.67% inaccurate and ruined your symbol which inexplicably retains a 1 in it, but no 2.

 

We can't even begin to express how bad we feel about the ridiculous division names (Leaders and Legends) that our addition has mandated.  The Dr. Pepper Leaders and Legends B1g 10 championship bowl doesn't really role off the tongue.  I suppose that we can all give thanks that it won't be the dumbest name for a game when it occurs(Thanks Kraft Fight Hunger and Beef'o'Bradys St. Petersburg Bowls).

We are also sorry that we aren't bringing any trophies that consist of bronzed animals or farm implements to spice up meaningless matchups.  Perhaps Minnesota could lend us one of their four trophies.  Wait has Minnesota even won 4 games in the last decade?

We hope that we can get past this awkward first impression.  When we moved in to this league, we thought we could just sleep on your couch, help out with the rent every once in a while, and maybe bring a friend like Notre Dame to hang out.  Little did we know that we would ruin everything.

Sorry again. 

Sincerely,

The University of Nebraska