Breaking News: God Frustrated by Inability to Destroy Brett Favre

AP-Detroit   Brett Favre's consecutive start streak is over, but his life continues much to the chagrin of the founder of the universe.  In an interview with ESPN's Shelley Smith, God expressed his frustration regarding his inability to destroy the professional football career of Minnesota Vikings QB Brett Favre.  "It all started with that interception at the end of last year's NFC Championship game" he said.  "I mean who would throw that pass, I thought I would be overwhelmed with prayers for the return of Tavaris Jackson by Vikings fans."

Little did God know that his first intervention in a football game since the inexplicable pass interference call at the end of the Ohio State-Miami Fiesta Bowl in 2002 would lead him on such a slippery slope.

God went on document his series of failures to end Brett Favre's reign as the most beloved player of white middle aged sports reporters.  "I thought it was over and then the Devil and his agents Jared Allen, Steve Hutchinson, and Ryan Longwell fly down to Mississippi and convince him to return."  It got personal at that point.  Every plan that was put into place from the Jenn Sterger sexting scandal and his mysterious ankle fracture could not derail Brett which led to God's most desperate action to date.  "I mean poor Ben Rothlisberger gets 4 games for having sex in a bathroom and getting accused in a civil suit of sexual assault, a civil suit!"  "But teflon Brett isn't even suspended a quarter for sending pictures of his junk, come on." 

He then went on to discuss his plan to collapse the Metrodome roof on Brett Favre during sunday's game against the Giants.  "The force in him is too strong.  I had to go Ten Commandments on him."  "How was I to know that the engineering of the Metrodome was so poor that it would collapse 18 hours before Brett even shows."  "Red Combs was right all those years the Vikings did need a new stadium.  The Metrodome was a structurally unsafe piece of ****."  "The Roman Coliseum would have held up to more snow than that oversized inflated garbage bag."  He ended the interview by lamenting that he will just have to wait for the end of the season with everyone else for Brett Favre to ride off into the sunset as the most overrated gunslinger since Billy the Kid.

God's comments finished with this thought: "I don't have time for this anymore, my kid's two thousand and tenth birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and I have a lot of preparing to do."