The Logo: The conference swung and missed harder than Adam Dunn does approximately two hundred and thirty times a year with their new logo choice. So I submit to you a viable alternative that manages to include both a 1 and a 2.
courtesy of Eric Palmer
The Divisions: This was destined for failure when league presidents shot down E. Gordon Gee's initial recommendation for a 3rd division consisting of Purdue, Minnesota, Indiana, and Northwestern named the "Little Sisters of the Poor."
The Awards: The conference created 18 post-season awards named after former Big 10 greats. Only 18! That couldn't begin to capture not just the history but the great stories that make our conference the second greatest conference in the eastern time zone. Who can forget Joe Paterno running through end zone of Ohio Stadium trying not to crap in his Depends, Woody Hayes punching an opposing player, or Lawrence Phillips trying to run his car over some teenage kids after a pick-up football game? So I submit to you another 17 awards that will teach the uninitiated what the Big 10 is all about:
The Biakabutuka Award “the Timmy” - greatest single game performance by an otherwise average player
The Clarrett Award “the Mo”- Worst criminal performance by a former Big 10 athlete
The Phillips Award “the LP”-named for Lawrence Phillips- Most outstanding display of athletic ability while committing a felonious crime (thanks to Jarrod Bruce)
The Katzenmoyer Award “The Big Kat”- Awarded for the lowest IQ to tackle ratio by a defensive player
The Fry- named for Hayden Fry- All-decade award given to the most overrated coach
The Stewart-Westbrook Award- named for Kordell Stewart and Michael Westbrook - awarded for worst last second performance by a Big 10 team (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQJWtgF60A4)
Zook-Mendenhall Award- named for Ron Zook and Rashard Mendenhall- awarded for most surprising upset on the road against a #1 ranked team
Hayes-Bauman Award-Best hit on a player by a coach (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEVJyf0ft3I)
Paterno-Levy Award- Best hit on a coach by a player (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qA-WjRPUvY)
Randle-El Award- MVP of the conference from an otherwise horrible team
Cooper Award-named for John Cooper- awarded to the 2nd best team in the conference
The Boeckman Award “The Tommy Boy”-named after Todd Boeckman six year Ohio State QB-Awarded to the player who has successfully received the most years of collegiate sports eligibility
The Dayne Award- most rushing yards by a player with a BMI over 35
The Green-Tepper award- named for former Northwestern coach Dennis Green and Illinois Coach Lou Tepper- honors the coach with highest graduation rate to win ratio (Courtesy of Illini grad Brendan Clark)
The Johnson-Koulianos Award-named for Derrell Johnson-Koulianos from University of Iowa- given for outstanding entrepeneurial performance in the field of pharmaceutical sciences (thanks Nate Brummell and Jarrod Bruce)
The Allstate-Crouch Award- named for Eric Crouch- most sales of insurance policies by a former All-American (thanks to Ian Myles)
Suh-Hawkins Award- named for Ndamakung Suh and Cody Hawkins- Awarded for the beatdown by a defensive player on a helpless quarterback on a fumble or interception return (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV8QSUnmLUg)
You're missing The Fire Lloyd Carr Award -- to be awarded to Michigan every time they win a game.
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