The wide reaching impact of Jerry Sloan's retirement

AP Salt Lake City-Utah Jazz coach Jerry Sloan, the longest tenured coach in professional sports, has announced his retirement after 23 seasons and 1,127 wins.  Coach Sloan, who coached two NBA Hall of Famers: John Stockton and Karl Malone, also guided the Jazz to their only NBA finals appearances in which the Jazz were defeated by Michael Jordan's Chicago Bulls in 1997 and 1998.  The announcement comes a day after the last in a series of emotional disagreements with star point guard Deron Williams.  Stating that he no longer had the energy to continue, the 68 year old coach handed the reins of the Jazz over to assistant Tyrone Corbin.  Corbin will be only the 7th head coach in Jazz history and its first new head coach since Ronald Reagan was in office. This announcement comes just 2 weeks after the firing of the second longest tenured coach in professional sports, former Tennessee Titans coach Jeff Fisher.

The unexpected nature of Sloan's resignation has led some other long-tenured leaders to reconsider their career paths.  South Carolina Senator Strom Thurmond, who has continued to represent the Palmetto state in the United States Senate despite having died in 2003, provided the following statement: "Seeing Jerry Sloan walk away from the game of basketball having never won the elusive NBA championship that he has pursued since my  90th birthday in 1988 has given me a new perspective on my own work.  Perhaps my own lifelong pursuit to reinstate the sweet, sweet institution of slavery that Abe Lincoln and those dirty Yankees wrested from my family when I was just a small boy in 1865 also needs to come to a close.  The idea of Jerry Sloan retiring sounds as outlandish as the idea of a Negro president."  When informed that their was indeed an African-American president, Thurmond promptly had a heart attack and died a second time.

Longtime host of the Tonight Show Jay Leno, who also recently retired but quickly reversed his decision in an attempt to single handedly destroy the NBC television network, offered his thoughts on Sloan's retirement during his monologue tonight.  Unfortunately, no one under the age of 75 and/or possessing an IQ above 75 was watching so no accurate account of what he said exists.  Further information should be available if the show ever makes it to Hulu.

Joe Paterno, head coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions since 1966, who was also questioned about Sloan's long career and retirement was at a loss for words.  The 84 year old coach who can manage a decent team only every 3 or 4 years despite recruiting relatively unopposed in the football talent rich state of Pennsylvania said "Frankly, I don't know what this has to do with me.  I feel nothing."